The Celebration of Failure

Employee performance appraisals are always interesting. They should be satisfying, eye opening, aggravating and inspirational. I just had mine and here are my comments on my performance (edited to protect the company)

I feel that the performance rating of "Solid Performance" accurately characterizes my efforts. I am not satisfied with myself for this rating. I believe I am capable of far better as I have previously demonstrated at (the company). I attribute my inability to achieve "Exceeds Performance Goals" or "Outstanding" to two factors. 1) Many of my tasks have been menial and monotonous. These tasks are not challenging, and are not where my strengths and interests lie. My strengths and interests lie in project management and leadership combined with my technical abilities. 2) My confidence in upper management has been shattered. My motivation to complete the menial tasks that must be accomplished in order to improve product and process is stymied by previous attempts to “exceed performance” only to be disappointed by corporate decisions that undermine these efforts. Examples include previous attempts to improve (one of the) product line only to be starved for resources and sidestepped for specials orders, later to be lashed for a lack of improvement in the product line. Lack of commitment to a process of improvement such as previous attempts at developing a New Product Introduction Process that have fallen by the wayside. And finally, the character assassination of a product such as the (flagship product) and those who sacrificed blood, sweat and tears. Thousands of man hours were poured into product design striving to exceed expectations, learning from (the company)’s rich history in order to introduce the company’s next generations platform, only to be denigrated at the highest levels for errors beyond engineering’s control and which are today being uncovered (i.e. suddenly, we are able to buy the product for the cost targets because there has been a focused effort on justifying the supplier’s price.) And in the end, engineering’s reputation is soiled.

How can one be inspired to “Exceed Performance Goals” in an environment of despair? Despair which comes from decades of failure. And the celebration of failure.

Is this a copout? Am I whining? After 5 years of these feelings and being one who voices his opinion and not being heard, I don’t believe it’s a copout. You can only point the finger at yourself for so long.